We’re basically screwed folks. I don’t think the Coronavirus will end humanity. Most likely it won’t even put a dent in humanity overall. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t take it seriously, we should. But with 7 billion and counting, the End of the World is not nigh. Yet if you are worried about a virus taking out humanity, might want to look a little closer to home, a mirror would do fine.

You have to wonder what is it about this virus that is causing the run on toilet paper. Theories abound, articles have been written, politicians have opined, comedians are having fun, but it’s more telling than they know.

Yesterday I needed to run to the store. During this pandemic, we have been limiting our exposure, so I get to be the guinea pig. I go for the essentials, and then come back home to wash my hands and then put stuff away. Yet my wife was curious, what do the stores look like? Who is buying what and what are they out of?

Well, toilet paper of course. Paper towels, napkins, water…water bottles are scarce. Gatorade, and other drinks with electrolytes in them? Gone. BREAD, was wiped out! Who hordes bread? Milk was gone, eggs, fresh fruits and vegetables, and most foods that are premade and you just heated them up in the microwave or oven. Then of course there is a run on ibuprofen, but not facial tissues, odd.

Then, the strangest of them all, people had been asking for cash back so much that the store had to halt doing that. Makes you scratch your head in wonder.

My conclusion from my shopping? People are not worried about the coronavirus. Concerned? Yes. Worried? No. What they are worried about is the governments reaction to the virus. People are more afraid of being quarantined for a month than catching the virus. They feel they will be locked away in their houses, unable to get simple things, like toilet paper. People are worried that stores will no longer take cards, or worse, they won’t honor them. So, we’ll have to go back to cash.

Many have been buying perishables that they feel they won’t have access to, because the government will halt transportation. Fresh vegetables, bread, and even milk would be scarce if that happened, and people feel it will. Bottled water? A fear that tap water will not always flow.

These hoarders? They’re not so crazy. Okay, definitely overdoing the toilet paper. But as of today, in my state of Illinois, the governor is shutting down the state. Restaurants, Bars, State Parks, any place were people may congregate are being shuttered for the time being. The closings? Probably going to get worse before it gets better. The point of all this is to isolate the population, to prevent the spread. Yet the hoarders tell us they feel the government is the real virus here, and that they fear them, more than Covid-19. (Wuhan flu for you conservatives).

What does this pandemic tell me? That we are screwed if the Zombie Apocalypse happens. No, don’t worry, the dead are not coming back to life…yet. But the Zombie Apocalypse is more than that. Unlike the Coronavirus which will come and go, the Zombie Apocalypse is a sustained pandemic. One that would last months or even years. It is one of those off the charts scenarios that we use to gauge our response abilities. Even our Military have used a Zombie outbreak as a training exercise. Mostly tongue-in-cheek, yet also for the complete chaos aspect.

And it is that chaos, the complete breakdown of order, that people fear most. They fear the governments overreaction to a crisis, and their overreach. We don’t fear the crisis as much as we fear human stupidity.

While our government, and governments around the world are getting a handle on the Coronavirus outbreak, they are showing that we are not prepared for a pandemic on a Plague like scale. We just don’t have the resources, the preparedness, that it would take to ward off hoards of Zombies. We tend to knee jerk in our reactions, and not implement protocols to minimize damage on time, or have them in ready to implement in the first place.

And then their is the political aspects of pandemics. Crisis’s often bring out the worst in politicians. On occasion, the best, but usually the worst. As they vie to top each other with the mantra “I am doing more than the other guy”. They use times like this to grab power in the guise of handling the situation. Becoming overreacting parents, when you break your curfew, by just 30 seconds.

So, the Coronavirus? It will run it’s course, take its toll, and fade into the history books like so many before it. The Zombie Apocalypse? Well it’s coming, probably without the living dead part, but it’s around the corner. And will we have learned our lesson by then? The toilet paper hoarders think not.



[The opinions expressed in this blog come from the writers deranged imagination. No Toilet Paper was harmed in the making of this blog, although a couple of rolls were squeezed for good measure. WASH YOUR HANDS! And use common sense. We’ll get through this, it is just a bug folks, not a Zombie Apocalypse.]